I have no hope. I am torn to shreds. You are my first and last and only refuge.
Don't do daily prayers like a bird pecking, moving its head up and down. Prayer is an egg.
Hatch out the total helplessness inside."
-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)
and here i am. broken. rubble at your feet.
in pieces before you.
fully alive. in every way human.
feeling nothing and everything at the same time.
i am unraveling.
the threads of my old self are slowly unraveling and i am undone in your presence.
i come undone.
you are love.
you are beauty.
you are hope.
you are all i need.
you are my light in utter darkness.
you are what I cling to.
you are everything.
you are freedom.
you are redemption.
you are the one who spoke, who spoke the world into motion.
you are the author and creator of life.
you are life.
you were, are and always will be.
you are everything i am not.
you make flowers grow out of concrete.
you make the impossible possible.
you are an interfering God.
you hold everything in your hands.
i have been here before. it is different this time.
this time. i believe in your goodness.
this time, i trust in your mercy.
this time, i am leaning on your grace.
bring me back to life.
breathe life into my dry bones.
awaken my heart.
make it beat again, stronger.
make it beat for you.
i see you ::putting me back together::
i feel you ::molding my heart like clay::
so here i am before you.
with nothing and at the same time everything to offer you.
take it.
i trust you.
i need you.
and i am here.
held in your hands, caught in your perfect embrace.
whole once again.
